itsparamshayall:

Dear family, friends and close relatives.

If you’re reading this it means that I’m gone. I’m sorry. But it was never you’re fault. I have suffered a lot in my life. Loosing family members, loosing friends. I have always been face to face with tough situations. My whole life I have faced challenges. Challenges that I could overcome. These things made me stronger. But finally came a challenge that I could not overcome. 

I only had one solution in mind. Something that could really stop the pain. Something that would make no more challenges come my way. I have thought about this solution in the past, but I always believed that it would get better. Finally, I opened my eyes. Things were not going to get better. I was suffering too much.

All those lonely nights spent in my room crying. Those nights where I would cut myself. The nights that I starved myself. The nights that I broke things. Sometimes, you have to take your life in your own hands.

My dear parents. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for bringing me into this world. Raising me. Dealing with my tantrums when I was younger. Dealing with my ‘teenage’ issues. Thank you for still loving me no mater what. I may have come off ungrateful at times, but I really do love you. And I appreciate everything you have done.

Friends, thank you for being there for me during those happy, or sad moments in my life. Thank you for being an ear to whisper secrets into. Thank you for all the sleepovers, hangouts and secret handshakes. Thank you for letting me cheat off of you during exams. Thank you letting me call you friend. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. 

I wan’t to take a moment to thank a few people in particular. Though, it may not fit into this. I am going to thank them any way. A band. Paramore. Josh, Zac, Jeremy, Taylor and Hayley. Thank you for becoming a band. Thank you for every song. Thank you for every lyric and every music video. You have helped me through this difficult journey. You have made me a better person. You helped me realize things that I could not do on my own. I may not know you in person. But I will always think of you as my family also. I will always defend you. Thank you for giving me new friends and brothers and sisters. Thank you for the parafamily. Thank you for everything you have done. No matter where I go, I will always love you and appreciate you 5. Thank you for e v e r y t h i n g.

If you are reading this, and I am certainly gone. I am deeply sorry. I did this for myself. I wanted to be with my past family members that I could not be with before. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. Earth wasn’t the right place for me to be in. 

Don’t be sad that I am gone. Please, don’t mourn. Remember me as a happy memory. Look back at the times you had with me, and smile. Don’t frown. Don’t miss me. All I wish is that you could help make the world a better place. So that other people don’t have to come to this decision. Save everyone else, something that I could not do. I’m in a better place now.

I dont know what to do. Im freaking out. Please no ramsha… please.